This Is What I Do: Create

For years, I have "suffered" from anxiety. Some times it's mild, and some times it's serious enough to develop into a panic attack. I always question what causes this as I am usually a very calm, somewhat assuming person. I don't get upset at most things, though admittedly, as I've gotten older,  things do upset me more than they used to. I have been studying the causes of anxiety and panic attacks for a long time. There are many causes, but I don't seem to fit into any of those "boxes." I don't suffer PTSD that I know of, nor do I fit into the Autism spectrum. Recently I came upon something that might just fit what might be a cause. I feel like I need more information, but this could be it! Sensory Overload.   Let me explain. For years I have worn hearing aids of different kinds. Anyone who has worn one in one ear or both ears knows, or should have had explained to them, that no hearing device can cancel or filter ambient noise. I have now, ...

 Recently I was invited to participate in a holiday activity that made me question my Christian beliefs as well as my rights as an American. I found the activity to be something I would not want to participate in and to be very frank, was highly illegal constitutionally. I questioned where this inappropriate activity originated, and found it started in the city's Mayor's office. Not to surprising as he is a Democrat and following the Jackass agenda that has been forced upon us during the year of the pandemic. I remember studying the novel, A Nation of Sheep while in college and am finding that it is even more true today than it was then. Americans, if you read closely the printed word and watch any TV at all are becoming more sheeplike every day. I am seriously afraid that we will eventually be "led to the slaughter."  I do not believe for a minute that Biden and his ilk fairly won the presidential election. I do however believe that money exchanged hands in very larg...

Just this week I read a post on the infamous Facebook that, to sum it up, blamed all the crisis going on in our country, namely the racial uprising, on taking God out of the schools. The ol’ separation of church and state issue that’s been going on for decades.   This whole posting did nothing but make me angry!   It certainly displayed ignorance on the part of the writer! Any educator in a public school, or most of them anyhow, will attest that God is alive and well in our school systems. As an educator I saw Him every day, and even though I’ve been retired for a decade, I know He still is there. He is there in the classroom every minute of every day holding that teacher together as he or she faces a room of children of any age. Some days that classroom feels like a battlefield, but God is there. He is there in the hallways in the smiling faces of students and staff. He is there in the lunchroom as the lunch personnel serve nourishing meals to students that might not get ...

Last month I had to see a cardiologist.  The Dr. ordered an ultrasound of my heart and a treadmill test, and also gave me some meds to bring my blood pressure down.  I tried the meds, but they upset my stomach, they made me dizzy and lethargic to the point where I was sitting in my chair staring at the wall or out the window for days, and whenever I stood up, I needed a cane to keep my balance. I live alone and felt I couldn't function this way, so I stopped taking that medicine.  (And it was a very low dose.) I have been monitoring my blood pressure since then, and as long as I keep my stress level down, it stays in the mid 120's over the low 70's, which cardio docs now call high.( Used to 125/72 was good??)  I've had a fair amount of things stressing me out the last few months...read here, car going defunct and taking on a car payment for the first time since 1996, having furnace problems off and on and having to put in a new furnace right before Christmas, having ...

Well, another year has come and gone and a new one will be beginning shortly. Next year I think will be appropriate for many of  us artists with a vision: ya know' 2020!  Yeah, I know, pretty lame humor! In some ways I am looking forward to 2020. I will be getting another grandchild in April (or maybe even the end of March). The parental unit, my son and his wife, decided to not find out this time whether it's a boy or a girl. Their theory: when you already have two of each, what difference does it make. I wasn't too excited when they first told me that they were expecting again. As a matter of fact, I remarked, "are you two crazy!" But, I know they aren't, and I also know that they are both wonderful parents, and those kind are the ones who should be having big families.They simply love their children, provide well for them, and that makes me happy. Another reason to look forward to 2020 is that my oldest grandson, who is now 26, will soon celebrate his 3rd ...

Fifty years ago on August 2, 1969, I married the love of my life. Our marriage lasted 38 years, 1 month, 22 days, and 7 hours, until an angel slipped in and took her home to her Heavenly Father. I have learned a lot in the last 12 years. Some not so good, some good. Let me share what comes to mind that I have learned. Not necessarily in any order, by the way! I can actually keep a good balanced  checkbook now. I can cook for one. It's not fun or easy, but I have it mastered pretty well. Dating is a lot different than it was 50 years ago. It's easier to stay home. Eating out in a restaurant alone is not too enjoyable. Most of the friends we had as a couple are no longer close. Many, not all, people who say "let me know if you need anything" really don't mean it. Being alone is not bad. Being lonely sucks. I could easily become a hermit. My children's lives do not revolve around me anymore.  My faith has grown exponentially. I hate doing laundry. ...

Our May mini inspiration mission was the following song lyrics: "Heaven opened its portals to me."  When I read them, I knew immediately that the song was "With a song in my Heart" That got me thinking and I remember going to my Grandma F's and she let me stay up and watch the "late show" which was a movie that didn't even start until after the 11:00 PM news. That was when I saw the movie, "With A Song in my Heart" for the first time. I can remember it like it was yesterday and it has to have been at least 65 years ago. (Grandma had a TV and we didn't!!) The movie starred Susan Hayward (pant, pant!!)  It was the story of Jane Froman, an entertainer during WWII. What a love story! She was hurt in an accident, spent lots of time in the hospital, was giving up on life as she knew it, but Therma Ritter and Rory Calhoun came to her rescue! Wow!! She sang to the service men overseas, brought down the house with the title song.  Needless...