50 Years Have Come and Gone

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Fifty years ago on August 2, 1969, I married the love of my life. Our marriage lasted 38 years, 1 month, 22 days, and 7 hours, until an angel slipped in and took her home to her Heavenly Father.
I have learned a lot in the last 12 years. Some not so good, some good. Let me share what comes to mind that I have learned. Not necessarily in any order, by the way!


  • I can actually keep a good balanced  checkbook now.
  • I can cook for one. It's not fun or easy, but I have it mastered pretty well.
  • Dating is a lot different than it was 50 years ago. It's easier to stay home.
  • Eating out in a restaurant alone is not too enjoyable.
  • Most of the friends we had as a couple are no longer close.
  • Many, not all, people who say "let me know if you need anything" really don't mean it.
  • Being alone is not bad. Being lonely sucks.
  • I could easily become a hermit.
  • My children's lives do not revolve around me anymore. 
  • My faith has grown exponentially.
  • I hate doing laundry. 
  • I don't mind cleaning.
  • The friends I have made in the last 12 years are few, but lasting.
  • I have worked hard at grieving, but now I am done. She's gone, I'm still here.
  • I love music more.
  • I love art more.
  • I am trying my damndest to become the best me that I can be with the time I have left.
I could go on, I suppose. Yes, I still miss my late wife. I think about her every day. I am still a little pissed off at her for leaving me here. She is missing all those grandchildren, and sharing my life. But all things being what they are, I wouldn't wish her back. She was so sick, both in body and mind. Now I console myself that she is happy and singing with the saints. 

I hope all of you don't think this is to morbid or whatever you want to call it. It is just facts. Life does go on. I have learned one real truism: the world doesn't stop for anyone's broken heart.

Until next time,
Go, Create Something
JF

Comments

  1. CurleyAugust 3, 2019 at 7:34 PM

    Well written. My best prayer for you is to one day maybe not be pissed off at her for leaving you here. You know that when there is a couple together, at some point one or the other will have to leave the other behind. I'm sure it wasn't Pam intention to leave you. You know that God has a plan, we just don't know what that plan is. We just have to believe He is in charge. HH my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JimAugust 6, 2019 at 12:25 PM

    Thank you for this. I know in my heart it wasn't her intention. It's just that she is missing so much and would have loved those tiny grands, and be so excited with another one on the way. I have forgiven her for leaving a long time ago! Knowing that you are praying for me is such a comfort.

    ReplyDelete

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