Sensory Overload and Anxiety

For years, I have "suffered" from anxiety. Some times it's mild, and some times it's serious enough to develop into a panic attack. I always question what causes this as I am usually a very calm, somewhat assuming person. I don't get upset at most things, though admittedly, as I've gotten older,  things do upset me more than they used to.

I have been studying the causes of anxiety and panic attacks for a long time. There are many causes, but I don't seem to fit into any of those "boxes." I don't suffer PTSD that I know of, nor do I fit into the Autism spectrum. Recently I came upon something that might just fit what might be a cause. I feel like I need more information, but this could be it! Sensory Overload.  

Let me explain. For years I have worn hearing aids of different kinds. Anyone who has worn one in one ear or both ears knows, or should have had explained to them, that no hearing device can cancel or filter ambient noise. I have now, for the last 4 years, worn a device that is called a bone anchored hearing aid, or a BAHA. I had a titanium "snap" surgically implanted in in my head above my left ear. The hearing device simply snaps onto that snap, much like any other snap. There are no tubes going to my ears, it simply transmits sound through the skull to my coculae which are still viable. It's an amazing bit of Swiss technology! BUT, it does not filter out ambient sound.

I cannot tolerate going into a big warehouse type store like Costco or Sam's Club for long periods of time. The big open ceiling concept with HVAC and electric exposed creates weird noises that bother me. Restaurants with the same kind of decor bother me. Going into a store with "muzak" playing too loudly bothers me. Being in an inclosed area where many people are talking bothers me. Being around my 5 small grandchildren with their whooping and hollering gets to me after a short period of time. How does this effect me? I get tense, then I start noticing an increased heart rate, and internal jittering that can manifest itself into actual trembling and shaking. 

Sensory overload can also manifest itself for me when I go into a store and it's loaded with merchandise. What to look at first, which way to turn, and so on. It is important for me to have a goal when I go into a big box store. I need a specific product ot section of a store to go to in mind before entering. At Costco, it's the coffee section. After I get my box of specific coffee, I want to leave. Having someone with me helps. It helps to be visiting as we enter the store and it keeps my focus and makes the whole experience easier.  At the grocery store, I try to premake a list starting at the front of the store and working my way back. I have my grocery store pretty well memorized so I can do this. If I am by myself, I sometimes just shut my hearing device off until I get ready to check out. List making for any shopping trip helps me not only to stay focused, but also to get everything so I don't have to go back.

I find myself avoiding restaurants that are noisy, and that's a shame because Texas Road House is one of my favorite places to eat, as is Cracker Barrel, but the ambient noise is quite bothersome! Going at off hours helps and trying for tables in quiet corners or booths with high backs helps. I've learn to watch for these things as I've learn what triggers there are and how to avoid them. 

My friend Curley, who I do go shopping with, understands these things. If I say, "I need to get out of here," or "I'm done, let's go," I know she understands! If there's a line at the check out, she will help me with breathing exercises, or she will simply check out for both of us so I can get out of the store. 

I am better. I have learned coping strategies, and some work all the time, some part of the time. At age 75+, I feel that coping with growing older is better that the alternative! So, I get out and go and when I've had enough, I say so, either to whoever is with me, or myself and come home. As for the ambient noise with my grandchildren, that might be just the kind of noise I need to hear to make my heart sing.

Being alone and quiet for the time of the pandemic has spoiled me. As things start to open up and I begin to get out more, I will have to remember that sometimes noises and sights are just too much, take a step back and adjust. I am willing! 

Until next time,

Be safe, be well!

JF